Tequila

(from the Keyan Herron dictionary of life)

Tequila:

I'd give you a definition, but I can no longer speak :/




Just kidding I don't get hammered in the afternoon.

Science

(from the Keyan Herron dictionary of life)

Science:

One of my friends has a saying for whenever he sees a poorly disguised tranny, a dumbass or something generally abhorrent to him:

What has science done?


But really, what has science done in the modern era? I'll tell you: it's made a bunch of people a bunch of money.

I have a serious question for the world: why haven't we cured the common cold?

By now you'd think we could anyway, right? I mean it's the year 2009 for pete's sake, we should not still be dealing with it.

It continues to amaze me that science has the power to give an old ass dude a giant erection for FOUR HOURS with a simple pill, but I still get sick every single year.

Come on guys.

R

(from the Keyan Herron dictionary of life)

R:

I think history is playing a huge joke on us, or at least on me. Let me explain why today's word is only a letter through the following narrative of the previous five minutes of my day:


I logged into my blog to make the post for the letter "R" (which is next alphabetically) only to find that I didn't have any r words on the brain. My trusty google search led me to the "wikipedia" page for the letter r. I scrolled down the page in search of the cool list of words I thought I might be lucky enough to find, however I did not make it. I never saw the end of the page because the chart of multi-lingual visual representations of the letter R stopped me dead in my tracks. It was... a penis, staring up at me from the page.

I'm speaking of course of the letter R in the Proto-Canaanite alphabet (language used before Phonetician)

Here it is:

Now this by itself would have just been funny, what really got me to go WHAT THE FUCK?!?! was what followed: I went to the page for the whole proto-canaanite alphabet (to make sure this wasn't a trick of my dirty mind).

We all know that the letter "S" follows the letter "R"

Well here's what followed the "dick" in the proto-canaanite alphabet:
You guessed it, BALLS.

If you didn't catch that, here they are again:
What the fuck, wikipedia?

Questionable Decisions

(from the Keyan Herron Dictionary of life)

I deeply apologize for the delay in Q to those few of you who really follow the dictionary, but here it is : Questionable Decisions

We all make them, but some of us more than others.


While Pat Buchanan may be "historically" correct in saying that America was founded by white people, I find his recent tirade on Rachel Maddow's show to be a Questionable Decision.


He went on and on about the many accomplishments of white people, and how we started this country and made it what it was.


It was in response to a question about the fact that so few women and racial minorities have been on the U.S. Supreme Court. To me, his use of this white-America logic to brand Sonia So-toh-my-or as a liberal minority extremist, is no better (or much different) than those who oppose the separation of church and state with the argument that since Christians founded America, it is a Christian nation. Both of these sentiments, though based on a shred of historical fact, are ridiculous, a defy what it means to really be American.

I'm sorry that today's post wasn't funny. However, the nice folks that do autotune the news featured Buchanan's super white remarks in one of their recent videos:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAfQhQJOquA

Peace Prize

(from the Keyan Herron Dictionary of Life)

United States President Barack Obama has won the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize.



I have the following to say about this:

WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!

How could such a traitor be worthy of any award, it's like he stabbed me in the back, and then the world did it again to make sure I was friggin dead.

Let me clarify something though: I voted for the man, I support his administration and most of his policies.

But if he thinks he can turn his back on his fellow smokers, passing anti-flavor legislation and encouraging heavy regulation of MY Virginia death sticks, then he's way off the deep end.

This artist of treason and his cronies in congress even wanted to ban menthol.

What a disgrace.

October should be Octopus Month

(from the Keyan Herron Dictionary of life)

Check out my eight arms, bitch

Nouveau Riche

(from the Keyan Herron Dictionary of Life)

nouveau riche

Here's my new philosophy:

Dress like New Money
Act like Old Money
Have no money at all